Privacy ends where safety begins. I found that phrase several times after googling the words “mom outraged over Snapchat”. While the first three chapters of Danah Boyd’s It’s Complicated offered many fascinating insights on adolescences and their use of social media, the stories of parent and children arguments over Facebook and Live Journal felt dated. I searched for stories about parental fear and anxieties over Snapchat, Tumblr, and Instagram to see if those same emotions felt over Facebook and the like several years ago are handled today, now that the social media sites teens frequent aren’t as accessible to parents. Turns out the fears and anxiety over what their children are doing on social media are obviously the same as before but the methods to deal with them are quite different than peeking in on a Facebook wall.
In my search I found several different products and app aimed at parents to monitor their children’s every move. Each spyware advertised the same sentiments as the parent Christina in Chapter 2: “a good parent is an all knowing parent…I’m the parent and not the friend” (pg. 70 Boyd). I found an app called mSpy, it allows parents to see exactly what their children are sending on Snapchat, as well as who they’re calling, texting, emailing and even where they are. First the parent downloads mSpy onto the child’s phone. I immediately thought of all the kids who got the iPhone 6 for Christmas with a little something extra. Because once mSpy is installed it leaves no trace on the actual phone, not a banner or an icon. All the monitoring messages are seen on the parent’s device only.
I do see products like mSpy as an invasion of privacy but I also see a parents need to feel their child is safe and not participating in behavior that harms themselves like being in dangerous places with questionable people or even sending nudes. I do not however see privacy ending where safety begins. I agree with the concept Boyd offers about parental violations of privacy being an expression of love but essentially constant surveillance is a form of oppression. The affects of excessive snooping and monitoring limits children and negates the formation of trust and understanding. mSpy parents operate under the implication that their child is unable to make informed decisions and ultimately, children have to become adults and will find a way to make all the mistakes their parents prevented them from with much larger consequences than those faced in adolescence. And guess what mom and dad, there’s an mSpy blocker app too.
Wow! I knew there were probably apps like this but actually seeing it is crazy! I totally agree and parents should be parents, not friends. But sometimes it goes too far. I don’t know if I agree with the app or not. If the parent is doing it to be cautious and isn’t obsessively checking their child’s phone, then I think it is acceptable. But if a parent is constantly on their child’s back…I think that can affect the parent-child relationship. My sister is on twitter and instagram constantly but she knows the precautions she has to take in order to be safe on the internet and that has to be emphasized instead of this whole stalking thing.
Thank you for your comment. I agree your parents are doing the right thing by teaching the right online behaviors and not stalking. I can’t say what I would do as a parent now as I don’t have kids but this app seems excessive. I would want to know where my kids are but seeing every text, email, Instagram, and snapchat would be really invasive. I don’t want to be my future children’s best friend but I do want to have a bond built on trust , communication and understanding and this app would probably kill that. I hope those parents realize it before it’s too late.
I also posted about the idea of parents using apps and programs to track their online appearance. I think it is crazy how far we have come with privacy for technology through technological privacy itself! I do think that parents should monitor their child’s life on the internet to a particular point, but I also believe that the parents should make it known to their child that they are inherently watching their online activity. It makes us question how far would we go with privacy services to protect the one’s we love? It also makes us question the dangers that are lingering out there, or if we are just getting held up about the privacy issues. This can be inherently existent if a parent were to see an ad to keep their child safe, it catches their eye and makes them pay attention because of the 2 key words: child and safe. I think this was a great app to bring to the attention especially when asking the question, Should the child know I’m watching them? or is ignorance bliss?
Thank you for your comment. You raised some very compelling questions. It just makes me realize that much more that I’m not ready for children. I want to protect them but at what cost to our relationship? Apps like this are not a necessity in my opinion but some form of monitoring definitely is essential in children’s protection.
I am so shocked that apps like this exist. I agree that it is completely an invasion of privacy. Even before this technology existed there has always needed to be a certain level of trust between parents and children. Invasions of privacy like this completely disregard the trust parents and children should build for a healthy relationship.
I agree with you 100 percent. Thank you for your comment.
I really appreciated that you took your interest in this reading a step farther. You noticed the commentary on Facebook and the other platforms discussed in boyd’s book to be a little dated, so you took the initiative to research parent’s reactions to the popular social media sites used among teens today. The fact that the information published in a book that was published just last year can become a bit outdated this quickly really shows how fast online cultures can change. This poses problems when studying online communities and their trends–they are literally here one day and gone the next. As digital humanists, we have to keep this fact in mind and figure out research and publication methods that best fit this characteristic. Perhaps traditional publishing methods are not the best way to communicate the quickly-evolving research and observations of this field. Platforms that can be constantly added to and updated, such as online blogs, may be much more well-suited.
Great comments. Since this book’s publication so many new social media platforms are available . I would loved to see Dannah Boyd’s take on snapchat, keek, tinder, and vine to name a few.